The Daily Grind.

Most people think working in a Pet shop is all about cuddling puppies and kittens all day. They think its full of love and fun and nothing ever goes wrong... "You must LOVE your job!" or "You're so lucky, you have the BEST job!" Are the standard lines I hear day in, day out. Of course, the grass is always greener on the other side. For them and for me.

Can I think of worse jobs? Absolutely! Without a doubt, I mean I would HATE to be a plumber sticking my hand down some randoms toilet. Or a Dentist, or even worse, one of those people that collects pathology specimens. OR, worst job ever... cleaning public toilets! People are disgusting, there is no more accurate way to describe them. We have all been the victim of walking into a public toilet to find some unpleasantry written in feacal matter on the wall, or delighted in discovering some precious soul has missed the bowl althogether... haven't we?


Well, I'm here to tell you that working in a Pet Shop is not so unlike these other professions. Cuddling puppies and kittens all day is what you call it. But, what actually happens is this: The day starts with scrubbing rediculous amounts of worm infested poo off the floor, walls and yes, even the roof. (Their poos are full of worms because we have wormed them - unlike the unnamed registered breeder, so don't critise!) The puppies themselves also need to be cleaned because after a night of interior design, paw painting and accessorising themselves with chunks of poo, they just don't resemble that "puppy in the window" picture you imagined. Ok, so you have had enough talk about poo? Well, unfortunately, just after cleaning is when EVERYONE is due for another poo.... I will save you the details, but it's not fun.

The rest of the day is filled with helping the vet to vaccinate (not great if you aren't good with needles, or holding animals while they get their needles OR if you have a problem with a certain careless, yet extremely goodlooking vet accidently stabbing you) Same goes for microchipping, its the size of a grain of rice going into an 8 week old Chihuahua. Yes, it hurts and YES Chihuahuas are vicious little gremlins. I won't even start to explain the likely injuries from giving a worming tablet to a feral kitten! But the last time one of the little fur sharks got me, it bled for hours and left a scar. By the way, everyone has done another poo.

Then there are the joys of dealing with "breeders". I use this term broadly. Everyone who has animals that reproduce fall into this category, but there is a HUGE variance in quality. Some days you get the breeder who is an "expert" in the industry. The ones who have puppies that are underweight, too young to be sold, full of worms, covered in fleas and ticks and full of genetic conditions that will reduce their life span and quality of life. BUT, don't try and tell them these things, because, "What would you know? You just work in a pet shop." This is a common quote generally mixed in with a bunch of name calling and sometimes threats of drowning said animals. To get the full picture of this scenario you need to imagine what the breeder looks like... A stereotype, if I may... They are generally from Gympie or Ipswich, small town people, didn't finish school, never knew how to brush their teeth - not that they need to anymore... grubby clothes, no shoes and wild toe nails. Flannel shirt with Winny blues in the top pocket, built like a brick shit house and haven't used a hair brush in years. (For the record, I used to put up a decent fight and NEVER purchased animals of this quality from ANYONE.) - While this argument is going on, there are more poos to clean up.

Ok, so enough about puppies and kittens. Lets move to the grooming room! So, that should be fun, right? Giving doggies cute little haircuts and bathing them... WRONG!! Did you know that when clipping a dog their hair will get into every orifice you have? Hair will also stab into your skin like minute splinters and if you don't remove them daily it can get infected. The hair gets into your eyes and up your nose making you rub your face, embedding more hair and making you look like a Yhetti. And then there is the true pain known only to those who have ever clipped a Cocker Spaniel... the ingrown hairs in your nipples! If that isn't enough to put you off grooming for life, then you have customers and their unrealistic expectations to deal with. "Make my 50kg German Shepherd look like a small fluffy lap dog." Or, a favourite amongst groomers, "Just brush those knots out." First of all, the hair is MATTED to the skin, no amount of brushing will fix that, and secondly you have a Silky Terrier, the dog will need to be muzzled so I can even look sideways at it! After that it gets easy, I mean dogs just stand there and do what they are told when you are using a foreign object that makes a noise and vibrates all over them.... Then occassionally, to top off a splendid day you get the nervous / stress related explosive bottom. If you are really lucky, the dog has JUST been bathed and the volcanic erruption that is it's bottom goes all over the freshly cleaned and shaved bottom and on really special occassions, it gets you... on the face.

My favourite thing about working in a Pet Shop though, would have to be the customers. I mean who else is lucky enough to be trusted so fully that in times of emergency, we are the ones that are relied upon? When something unusual appears out your beloved dogs back end, where do you go? Straight to the pet shop, of course. Who else can be trusted to identify the parasite in your dogs faeces? And YES, we do literally get bags of poo brought in for us to examine. It's funny how this relationship works, when an animal should probably be seeing a vet, our expert FREE advice is asked and then argued against... Why ask if you don't want to know the answer? Why say it's too much hassle so instead of fixing your pet you will shoot them, or dump them or leave them to suffer? Do you honestly think we will LIKE you after that? And talking about liking customers... Customer service is our job. It does not mean we like you, have a crush on you, want to date you, have your babies or even marry you. It means we are doing our job to make money for the business. Oh, and we care about your animals welfare... simple!

And that is a good day. A day where no one gets hurt. No animals get sick or injured. No customers are screaming and yelling because they killed their fish and want YOU to replace it.... A day where you think maybe it's worth going back again the next day. A day where you think maybe what you are doing is making a difference to the lives of some animals. And then, you remember the big picture. Then you try and think of a goal that you have achieved today. Something to take you a step closer to where you want to be... WHO you want to be.

All of a sudden the grass doesn't seem so green anymore.


Jessie