Even Casey Stoner had to start somewhere...

Today I had my second motorcycle lesson. It was less comical than my first lesson, but still filled with confusion and Mark, my poor instructor, returning with more grey hair and a larger bald spot then he had at the beginning of the lesson...

Again, my lesson started at 7am. Again, I have an issue with this. I know I blamed peak hour traffic for my dislike of this hour but to be honest... I'm not a morning person. Who wants to get out of bed at 6am when the weather is starting to cool down? Who am I kidding? My dislike has nothing to do with the weather and everything to do with my love of sleep. Well, most of the time. Not so much when I have nightmares, but THEY are a whole other story!

This morning I woke to the nasty sound of my phone alarm blaring out its vibration on my bedside table. After a mini heart attack and turning my much hated phone off. (It's a love / hate relationship.) I heard the soothing sound of rain on the roof. I love the sound of rain, normally. When I'm not about to jump on a motorcycle in the middle of peak hour traffic. The other problem I have with the rain today is that I risked my life on Saturday to buy myself my very own motorcycle jacket that was now set to get wet. I say I risked my life because I managed to interupt some kind of bikie gang meeting when I walked into the shop. Well, I have no proof it was a "gang" or "meeting" but when a bunch of guys (I am debating the sex of 2 of them) all stop talking and get up from their table when I walk into the shop... I am left assuming the most exciting and scary option.

My first instinct was to turn around and run but I feared this would be too obvious and they would kill me. I'm sure they can make it look like an accident or maybe I would never be found... So I went with my second option, the innocent "I'm new to this whole bike thing" approach. I guess it worked, they were all lovely and I survived. I had a really sweet mail order bride help me pick the best jacket ever! I'm actually considering joining their gang, I mean they did give me a stubbie cooler!

So, I have my jacket with it's detachable raincoat part that I refused to wear because I didn't want to get it wet. I actually chose to wear a dirty, stinky, borrowed jacket over getting mine wet.... I have serious problems! But my jacket is still clean, new and more importantly, DRY!

Mark, my instructor was late again today. I was a bit more flexible when I realised the poor guy rides for 2.5 hours to get to work. How do I know this? Mark talks A LOT!! Not necessarily about motorbikes either. I know more about his girlfriend than I care to remember. I'm fairly sure he shouldn't be encouraging her to fall asleep on the back of his bike while they are riding. Maybe it's just me but it doesn't sound safe or something I should hear about. I'm still a bit unsure of Mark and I think he feels the same about me. I swear he walked in this morning, saw it was me again and tried to pull a sickie. I'm pretty sure I heard him sigh and mutter a prayer under his breath. Bless his cotton socks!

So today was all about getting me on the road, on the bike, in traffic... With real cars, buses, trucks and the loonies driving them. I was off to a great start. I did the safety check on the bike with Mark constantly narrating over the top of me, this time both bikes seemed to be ok. I am cautious of using the word "safe" because... how the hell am I suppose to know if it's safe? I can almost guarantee it won't be safe the second I get on it! We headed off to a quiet estate area off the back of base. I managed to get all the way to the end of the driveway and turn onto the road before I stalled the bike. I think that's a record, the longest for me before stalling and the shortest for any other student. Mark must be SO proud!

Mark gave me some instructions before we left saying he would give me all my instructions via hand signals and when we came to a round-a-bout or intersection, he would make sure it was safe for both of us to go through together. At the first intersection we came to, I realised Mark is either a liar or he wanted me dead. I some how managed to stop, I'm not exactly sure how because he hadn't taught me how to use the front brake, and the back brake... well, to be frank, is BLOODY USELESS!! I managed to keep it together fairly well until I had a car following right on my bum. Why would you do that? I am wearing a giant "L" on a fluro yellow vest, you can't miss me. Unfortuantely this means you literally can't miss me when you aim your car at me! So, this guy decides he is going to bully me and try and scare me. Little did he know I was scared before I even knew he was there. This of course was a perfect distraction to make me nervous and concentrate on what I was doing... Unfortuantely for me and the car behind me, and to the embarressment of Mark, when I think about riding, I suck at it. So, of course I came upto a round-a-bout with said car on my back wheel and I stall the bike. I was very classy duck waddling the bike off the road because the nasty piece of work got stuck in neutral and no amount of rocking and releasing the clutch would budge it. I'm sure Mark considers me his biggest challenge.

After that incident I managed to ride around for about an hour without any major mistakes so, of course this means it's time to teach me how to use the front brake. (I don't understand Mark's logic, but, hey, he's the expert!) After a few attempts I had the braking sorted, now I don't need to stall the bike to stop it, this can only be a good thing for all involved. Because I was so awesome at braking, Mark decided we would go out into heavy traffic on the main roads in the area. I am a cautious rider, I prefer to go slow - which is actually the speed limit, Mark prefers to go as fast as he can and it's up to me to keep up, even if it means speeding. That was his instruction. He kept giving me the hand signal to speed up, I was already doing 60 in a road work 40 zone, so I gave him my own hand signal involving my middle finger. I then had a car cut me off and a truck try and bully me out of my lane. I shouldn't say try, because he did. I was happy to let him in, he could have my lane and as many other lanes as he wanted. I guess Mark would call that Karma.

Then, because I'm sure Mark has set this whole thing up - no one can have this many obstacles in one day, surely? A dog runs out on the road infront of both of us. I saw it coming and slowed down, Mark saw it and sped up! We ended up having an argument over this because in his opinion the faster you go, the smoother the bump over the dog. I was more going for the obstacle avoidance approach where nobody and nothing dies or gets hurt. I only had one more incident where the bike got stuck in neutral... at a round-a-bout... in road works... infront of a bunch of workmen... Mark had left me for dead, I'm sure he was praying I would be killed so he wouldn't have to be tortured by my inability to get the bike started. But to my surprise (and Mark's and all the workmen) I managed to get it out of neutral, into first gear, get moving and avoid having or causing any collision without stalling and without help!

It was time to head back to base, so Mark decided we were going to go the long way. Telling him I was exhausted, my hands were numb (not to mention my bum) and my feet and hands were getting confused wasn't enough for him to let us just go straight back to base. Being unable to get the indicators off because of my numb hands resulted in him telling me to "relax". I needed to suck it up and go the scenic route back to base. This involved a little bit of rain, not heaps, which I'm thankful for because I didn't bring a squeedgee for my helmet. I did however leave my visor up because I love the feel of the wind on my skin... This can only mean that Mark will make me ride through dusty gravel in an area which would be better called a nature corridor than a road. I had bugs land in my hair and eyes. Luckily my mouth was clenched closed the whole time. I can't imagine vomiting in ones helmet would be an appealing way to end a ride.

We finally made it back to base and we finished up with some paperwork. In Mark's opinion I will be competent with two more lessons. I think maybe he thinks doing any more lessons will be pushing his luck at remaining sane or having a clean record of never having a student killed under his supervision. There must be a motive... surely I shouldn't be set loose on the roads with a motorcycle yet? I guess time will tell! Mark justifies giving me my licence in two more lessons by telling me I won't be the next Stoner or Rossi... but what does he know?!?!


Jessie