Kadison

To all of the Angel Babies, gone too soon.

I wanted you so much. I have always wanted you. I was so excited when I discovered you were on the way. Yes, I was shocked and surprised, you were our miracle baby and I loved you instantly, more than life itself. I thought this was it, this was the start of something beautiful, the beginning of our life together. I never expected anything to go wrong...

I had all of the symptoms; morning sickness that lasted all day, sore breasts, and I felt so very tired. I didn't mind though because you would have been worth it. You were worth it. You ARE worth it. I would have done anything to keep you and I would do anything to have you back.

I will never understand why you didn't stay with me. You were all I thought about, I had such hopes and dreams for you. I just knew you would have been perfect. Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to be a mother. I had waited a long time to have my dream fulfilled and now it would be... or so I thought so then.

I feel so empty and alone since you left me.. left us. And even though you were only a part of my life for a very short time, I will never forget you. I never thought it was possible to feel such a love and longing for someone. Your daddy and I created you, a sweet, innocent little life. A piece of each of us, made with love, a precious gift but not ours to keep. It hurts so much to know I will never hold you, never see you smile, never hear you giggle. It doesn't seem right when I wanted you more than anything in the world.

I know I have to let you go to fly free with all the other Angel Babies, but it's so hard to do... I know you would have stayed if you could. You were such a fighter, you fought to exist and you fought to stay but it wasn't to be. It wasn't your fault, it wasn't my fault and it wasn't your daddy's fault. You just couldn't stay. But even though you aren't here, you are always with us. Three hearts beating as one. Your daddy's and my heart beat to the same rhythm, in time with yours, our Angel Baby. Today, tomorrow and for always. No matter what happens we will always share our love for you.

I miss you. I miss your daddy talking to you through my tummy. I miss knowing you were there, but most of all I miss the life that we would have had with you. All of the milestones, the good times, the bad times. We would never have the chance to teach you to crawl or watch you take your first step. Your first tooth, your first day at school, first love and heartbreak... I wonder what your first word would have been? What you would be like, would you want to play sport or a musical instrument? What would your dreams be made of? What would you aspire to be? This is the life we will never know with you. The life we could have had, the life we should have had... The life we were given a tiny glimpse of before it was taken away from us.

You would have been the centre of our world.


From all of the Mummy's and Daddy's without Babies.