Over the last few months I have been thinking a lot about love. What it means, how it would feel... but how do you know when you have found it? Do you just KNOW? Is it something you fight because it's new and scary? Or is it so natural and so right that you just go with it? You just take a chance because despite knowing that taking a chance is a huge risk of losing so much, not taking that chance is an even bigger risk? Love has the potential to be the biggest source of happiness for each and every one of us, but if our perception of love is wrong, if it's only one sided... is that really love? Is it possible to love someone who doesn't love you back? And how much effort should it really take? I mean it should be equal amounts but how hard is too hard? This is what I have come up with so far:
You know it's love when that person makes you feel like home. Incomparable, safe and where you belong. They're your first and last thought every day... And they fill your thoughts at all the times in between. They're the one who is on your side, even when you're wrong. They protect you when you are too tired to fight for yourself. The one you can trust with your deepest thoughts, emotions, dreams and fears. They don't judge you and they validate your feelings, even the irrational ones. They challenge you to do better, to be better.
When the going gets tough and you think giving up is the only answer. When you put your walls up and push everyone away, they are the person who see's straight through this act... this game. They see the real you. The hurt, pain and fear that it takes to make you feel and act like you need this person in your life so bad that your only option is to push them away. They see your fighting hands and know it doesn't represent a fighting heart. They know it's self preservation. Protection from a vulnerability of reliance on another soul. Sometimes you just need to push the limits. To see how much a heart can take before it breaks. Sometimes you just need to make mistakes, and no matter what, that person that loves you is right there with you. Making their own mistakes and helping you survive your mistakes. Deafening silences and angry words that betray your true feelings and sting on delivery are never held against you. Scores are not kept, jealousy is kept at a healthy level and no one is put on a pedestal. There is equality and value. There is nothing an apology can't fix... almost nothing.
They let you escape reality to your world of fantasy and disillusion and they share that same world, right there beside you. When you think the world has given up on you, they hold your hand tight and remind you why the lows are worth it. They share the joy of your highs and support your crazy ideas. They are proud of you and want the whole world to know that they are the luckiest person in the world to have you. They are the one who always has the time to tell you how special you are. No matter how hard their day has been they can always give you a cuddle, a smile and kind words. When darkness has filled your world, when you can no longer see the light at the end of the tunnel, they are the one who lights it for you.
They understand... They get it... They get you...
That's when you know.
Jessie
Wise words, beautiful lady
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